There are times when we are at odds end as to how to handle situations that life throws our way. Mostly it is us acting a shrink for our friends and sometimes family members. But even that calls for us being emotionally sound (if only for their sake and not for our own), and it also requires us to know how to go about the sensitive situation.
For instance, when a friend is going through a break up, it can be a tough time for them; and as their friend, you should be there for them if they need you, hiding in the wings, ready for the person at flight risk. A friend going through a break up faces a lot of emotional ups and downs and, you as the BFF needs to be able to handle that and make sure the friend faces a smooth transition and keeps in touch with the reality.
Here are some pointers to keep in mind.
Let them take their time
Moving on is a slow process, and everyone goes through it at their own pace. Try not being that friend who goes like "Get over him already!" It doesn't work like that and you know it. Be there when they want to distract themselves but don't think that distraction alone will work. Remind them that it is normal to grieve a relationship and a must thing to do; tell them they need to take their time.
Make it about them for a while
As a friend, sometimes we tend to take things as a personal mission. But your friend getting over a breakup is their journey and not yours. So lower your expectations for a while and let your friend talk on and on about what they are feeling and going through. Be a patient listener and empathise. Knowing that their feelings are normal and universal helps the person move on better. And you need to be able to do that without getting frustrated.
Ask what they need, and let them figure out things
Sometimes we are so hell bent on helping our friend in their time if need that we tend to project our desires, choices, and paths onto them. But what worked for you may not necessarily work for them. There is no right or wrong in this case. What you can do is ask your friend what they need of you and how much of you and take it from there. You can give your opinions but you shouldn't be imposing.
Comments
