Going on a first date can be a thrilling, but nerve-wracking experience. This is especially true when you're meeting them for the first time. And let's face it, in the age of Tinder, we all go on a LOT of dates, armed with the little amount of information from chats and a few strategically taken photos. Dating is a hit and miss game, undoubtedly. And every woman knows how exhausting it can be to kiss (figuratively!) all the frogs before stumbling onto a person that actually stokes their fire. As tiring as that is, it's not a real concern. The real trouble with blind dates and strangers is that you never know when they might turn disastrous. A charming fellow might turn into a monster the minute he realises you have no interest in jumping into bed with him. It's hard to tell when a sexist creep might be lurking under the garb of feminism. The permutations and combinations of what might go wrong are, unfortunately, many. So, what does a woman do? Stop dating? Go out only with men that your own social set can vouch for? While that may be an option, it's always good to follow certain safety rules to avoid unsafe situations altogether. Yes, the onus should be on men to not make you feel uncomfortable or terrified for your safety. But until that happens, here are 6 things you need to keep in mind.
1. Talk, Talk, Talk
Talk to them before agreeing to a date. By talk, we meet actual conversations, not just exchanging a few hurried texts. You never know what the first conversation might reveal. Maybe, you have a few mutual friends after all and you can casually ask them for their opinion. A very 'nice' guy that I almost went on a date with, once upon a lifetime ago, had worked up quite a reputation as a butt-slapper at the end of his dates. How did I find out? While talking about school, I learned he went to the same one as a colleague from my past. She obviously wasn't on his Facebook friends' list. A chat with her the next day revealed his penchant for putting his hands where they weren't invited. So yes, don't skip the all important first conversation.
2. Take Google Baba's Help
Ask about their work and Google the life out of them. Mystery and all is a great hook, but you don't want to go on a date with say, a married man or worse. In this day and age, it's impossible not to have a digital footprint, and if they are mysteriously missing from the online world, it should immediately be a red flag. Asking about their work helps because people are that much more unlikely to do something shady if you know who they work for and where. Their social media profiles can tell you a lot about their thoughts and beliefs, which is always good to know before meeting someone with romantic inclinations.
3. Meet At A Place You're Familiar With
And no, that doesn't mean home. Even if you're scoping someone with the intention of having a casual fling with them, don't invite them over on the first date itself. Giving them access to your home makes you vulnerable because it reveals a lot of your personal information in a very short span of time. Meet at a restaurant you frequent, where the staff knows you. So that if things go south, you can reach out to them for help.
4. Tell Somebody. Anybody!
Letting at least two trusted friends know where you're going and who you're going with is necessary. Ideally, at least one of these people should be in the vicinity you're going to meet your date in, so that they can reach you in a short time, just in case you need help. Text them a couple of times to let them know how the date is coming along, and what your plans for the rest of the night are. A good way to help them keep track in real time is to share your location on maps with them for the duration of the date
5. Keep Protection Handy
By that, we mean the good old pepper spray, a swiss knife, or, actually, anything that can protect you, if only for a few seconds, within grabbing distance. If something untoward happens, you should be able to immediately do something to protect yourself. Have an exit plan ready, in case you feel the alarm bells go off. One of my favourite things is to code word typed and ready in the drafts folder of my message. All my friends know it's an SOS call, if they get the message.
6. Arrange For A Ride
This is as simple as it sounds. Book a taxi or make arrangements with a friend to pick you up beforehand. Make sure you're not dependent on them to pick you up or drop you off. This way, they won't know where you live on the first date itself and also help you exit without a confrontation -- they can't insist on dropping you if you already have that base covered. Plus, it saves you the trouble of coming up with excuses, in case they get drunk and you're uncomfortable about getting into a car with an inebriated man.
7. Constant Vigilance
Always be alert. Observe what's happening around you and always keep an eye on your food and drink. Don't ever leave it unattended. In fact, it's best to stick to drinks where the bottle is literally opened in front of you -- like a beer or a breezer. And trust your gut. If something feels off, leave. Even if you are wrong, a measly date is not worth putting yourself in danger.
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