There is nothing better than a friend with whom you can gossip and share big and small secrets with. Friends are the people we can count on to understand our perspective when others can't and give us advice -- sometimes of the bitter, hard-to-swallow types. As wonderful and enriching as the relationship is, it also has potential to turn toxic and bring you more pain than happiness. Sometimes, it is difficult to differentiate between a difficult friend and a toxic friendship, the kind that depletes instead of adding to your life. When that happens, it is time to part ways.
Here are 7 signs that tell you it's time to finally cut ties.
1. They betray your trust
If you can't trust your friend to keep your embarrassing and most painful secrets, what is the point of having them around? If you find yourself keeping things from them because you know they're going to go about discussing your private life with others, you already know you can't trust them. Sometimes, this could simply be a matter of miscommunication or a thoughtless slip of the tongue. Have a frank discussion, telling them why they hurt you by letting out your secrets, before you cut them loose. If the behaviour doesn't change, you need to accept that they aren't your true friend and distance yourself from them.
2. They are always right (and you are always wrong)
We've all known at least one person who simply can't bear to be wrong. An equal friendship is one where both people are invested enough to hear each other's POV and be able to accept when they are wrong. If you find yourself constantly giving in and apologising on all matters big and small, simply to avoid an argument, you need to get away from that relationship. No one person is ever always right or wrong.
3. Your friendship keeps oscillating. And it doesn't stop.
Your relationship is like a pendulum, it keeps swinging from BFFs to never-want-to-see-each-other-again. The bickering simply doesn't seem to stop, and no matter how much you try to keep the peace, there is always a feeling of conflict or resentment underlining your relationship. It doesn't necessarily have to be their fault -- maybe you've just grown apart and have starkly different viewpoints and expectations from the relationship. Whatever the reason, if you find yourself in this position, do your friend and yourself a favour and take a break from the negativity.
4. Meeting them is tiring
Hanging out with friends should be fun and make you happy. If the prospect of meeting them makes you feel mentally and emotionally tired, and you find yourself constantly making excuses to bail on them, your friendship has outlived its purpose and it is time to reconsider it.
5. They never support you
Every healthy relationship has differences of opinions and disagreements. But you need to be able to count on the people closest to you to support you when you need it. If your friend is constantly belittling your achievements or emotions, or dismiss your feelings callously, they really aren't the allies you believe them to be. Walk away when the friendship feels less like a support system and more like a constant contest for one-upmanship.
6. You cannot be yourself around them
If you find yourself constantly biting your tongue, withholding things from them for fear of being yelled at or judged, it's probably time to part ways. While it's natural and healthy to disagree occasionally, you need to have enough faith in your closeness and the fact that they have your best interest in mind to continue the relationship.
7. They are freeloaders
Comments
They are only around when they need something, but conveniently disappear as soon as their purpose is served. If you're the perpetual giver, while they only take and take, it's time to reevaluate the friendship.
