Dear Men,
Comments
You know that moment when you think you've just given the woman you're with a compliment, but instead of jumping into your arms, her smile slips off her face? That's when you should realise that the compliment you gave, wasn't really a compliment at all. Here are some examples of the kind of things you need to avoid at all cost. And maybe, in the process, understand exactly why they're not considered compliments at all, by us ladies.
1. 'You're not like other women.'
You mean to say we're not like any of our female role models? The ones we hope we've learned something from? The ones who inspire us to succeed? Or like our group of female friends who are compassionate, kind, intelligent human beings and who always have our back, no matter what time or day?
2. 'You're like a guy in a girl's body. That's so awesome!'
Pretty sure we don't need someone to tell us that we were born in the wrong body. Also, don't assume that we'll appreciate being considered one of the 'bros'. It's not a compliment, it's not an insult. It's just a waste of a conversation.
3. 'Whoa, you're really good at sports... For a girl.'
Why, has no girl ever beaten you at a sport? Well, there is a first for everything. Maybe if you didn't waste time focussing on the player's gender, you might have even been able to win. Maybe.
4. 'I love that you don't act like a girl all the time.'
Well, we don't love that. We don't even get what acting like a girl means. Do you mean to say that you love the fact that we're not strong, empathetic, kind and compassionate? Because that's what being a girl means to us.
5. 'You have such a great body. Why don't you wear fitted clothes more often?'
Firstly, that's none of your business. Secondly, why do so many people have to ruin a compliment by stuffing their opinion down other people's throat? Nobody asked for your fashion advice, keep it to yourself.
6. 'You're not the girlfriend types.'
What is that even supposed to mean? We don't think it's flattering when you tell us that we're not the 'girlfriend' type or the 'marriage' type. But it definitely makes one thing clear - you're not our 'type'.
7. 'Oh, you don't look like your pictures at all.'
We just assumed you would already know that Instagram's Valencia filter is not permanently attached to our faces. Our mistake, there should have been a disclaimer. And in case you check Snapchat later, just know that those dog ears aren't real either.
8. 'Beautiful and smart? Wow!'
Did you really think beauty and brains can't go hand in hand? And that we're not smart enough to see through that so-called compliment?
9. 'You look so good without makeup, you should try this more often.'
Maybe try, 'You look beautiful' and that's all. Isn't it obvious? Commenting on how much makeup we should use, or how often we should use it is not a compliment. And unless we asked for advice, don't give it. Maybe take some notes, guys?
