The thing about starting a relationship in your 20's is that your families are invariably going to be involved, especially if you still live with them (which, my mom tells me, most Indian girls do).
I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time at their housewarming party. They had just moved a week ago, we had just started dating a month ago. I remember being SO stressed about what I was going to wear - I ended up playing it safe with a midi dress, in case you're curious. Anyway, back to that night, she was polite enough, smiling as she shook my hand but then she pretty much left me alone for the rest of the night. It wasn't a great beginning and it only got worse from there. I always felt like an outsider when ever I went over for dinner or just to chill. Anyway, life went on. Sometimes I tried to talk to her, other times I made peace with not understanding every single inside joke.
Almost 10 months later, they were hosting a huge party close to Diwali. I was feeling really unwell but I made it there after work anyway - that too in a perfectly tied sari.
I met his parents, greeted them, and all was going as usual when my boyfriend and I got into a fight about something really silly - me wanting to go home early. I didn't have my usual energy because of feeling sick so I didn't fight back too much. But, of course, I was upset and I guess it was very obvious. His mom had seen this whole thing from the other corner of the room and she walked over to us. To my surprise, she told my boyfriend off without even asking what was going on. She told him simply, 'That's no way to talk to her. Say sorry.'
I think he was as taken aback as I was - he instantly apologized to me and we ended up smoothing things over when he dropped me home.
A few days later, I was back at his house as he got ready to go out for a movie with me. His mom took the opportunity to ask me if he had been 'behaving'. I happily told her that he had. And then she said, 'Good. Don't ever let a man talk to you like that.'
I'm not saying that all it took was for her to see us fighting that helped. But I guess that's when she sort of started to consider me a part of the - I won't say family - but her circle. Numbers were eventually exchanged, birthday wishes were texted and then extended with flowers the next year. It was a slow journey but that night is where it really began.
P.S.: I do sometimes threaten my boyfriend that I'll go tell his mom about his behaviour. I love having something like this to hold over him.
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