How To Deal With Anxiety And Insecurity In A Relationship

Experiencing anxiety in a relationship is not normal or good in any way. Neither for you nor for your relationship. But are these issues causing you anxiety real? Or have you built it up in your mind? It is important first and foremost that you determine that.

Dr. Minnu, relationship counsellor says, "Firstly, get into fact-checking. Ask yourself whether you have exaggerated issues in your mind that leave you feeling insecure. If so, then go back into your own past and see whether you have had previous experiences of betrayal, dishonesty, abandonment etc. Have you witnessed a breach of trust in previous relationships or otherwise? Extra-marital affairs and other poor decisions that adversely affected the relationship between you and your parents? If that is the case, then seek counselling to liberate yourself from the insecurities stemming from your past."

Living in fear and insecurity is stifling and has the power to turn one into someone they are not. Seeking help is important if you think the situation is out of hand.

Dr. Minnu also adds, "You need to objectively evaluate and freely relate to your present relationship. As you work on healing yourself, remain self-aware so as to not subject your partner to your insecurities originating from your past."

Checking on facts and analysing whether your past is causing a hindrance and not allowing you to move past your insecurities, if it's built up more in your head as a result of over-thinking a situation or whether your partner is really to blame because of his/her actions, is imperative.

"If however, fact-checking reveals that your partner has in fact given you enough reason to believe that there has been a breach of trust, it's important to communicate the need for couple's counselling with a professional to reach an emotional closure. Also, communicate the need for transparency to reinstate trust. Seek to co-create a renewed sense of couplehood which is mutually fulfilling." concludes Dr. Minnu.

Dr. Minnu Bhonsle Ph.D. is a Senior Consulting Psychotherapist and Relationship Counsellor at the Heart to Heart Counselling Centre, Mumbai, and has been working with couples for the last three decades.