Telling your partner that what you have currently in the relationship is not enough, is never easy. It's quite a feat to be able to have this conversation without any disagreements or arguments cropping up. As two separate individuals, you're bound to have differing opinions and points of view - and that is absolutely okay and a 100% natural. However, there is a way to address the issues that you have with your partner, especially when you feel like you need more from or within the relationship. Here are a few tips to remember when having the conversation.
1. Talk, don't sulk
The key to having a conversation, no points for guessing, is actually having a conversation. Moping around or exhibiting passive aggressive behaviour will get you nowhere. It is important to remember that your partner, no matter how intuitive, cannot entirely read your mind. So if you want something, the first step would be to initiate a conversation and let your thoughts be known. No matter how embarrassing you think it might be, it will be a lot better than keeping your feelings or emotions about a particular issue entrapped within you. Holding it in and expecting your partner to just understand will lead to resentment when he fails to do so.
2. Focus on the actual issue
Very often, when we're upset or not a a100% satisfied with something, we digress and turn the conversation into a battle about everything but the actual subject at hand. Focus and stick to talking about what it is that you had originally decided to address. Circumventing will only cause frustration, to you and him both. It actually doesn't even hurt to have a few pointers jotted down beforehand so that you have something to refer back to even if you digress.
3. Address the issue with complete honesty
No beating around the bush and trying to sugar coat things. If you want more, you have to start with giving more - which in this case would be more transparency. If you're constantly trying to play nice and protecting him from being taken aback, even if you start the conversation, you will end it only in disappointment. Leaving things out out of fear of them not sounding so great or not being too well received will leave the issue unresolved in your heart and mind. So when you make up your mind to talk about what it is that you want, whether it's marriage, more space, more intimacy or anything else, address it the way you're thinking it.
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