It's been a tough few days for designer Sabyasachi Mukherjee and his team. The popular Indian Bollywood and wedding couture designer was in the eye of the storm after he managed to offend the women of the country with his remarks at the Harvard India Conference on February 10, shaming women who did not know how to wear sarees. Today, in a long, verbose three-part open letter on social media, the designer apologised to all the women who had taken exception to his harsh comments, and clarified what he had intended to say, even as he took full responsibility for his unthinking rebuke in the heat of the moment.
"I am sorry that I used the word 'shame' in reference to some women's inability to wear a sari. I truly regret that the way in which I tried to make a point about the sari enabled it to be interpreted as misogynistic, patriarchal, and non-inclusive - this was certainly not my intention," he says at the start of the letter.
To begin, allow me to sincerely apologise for the words that I used while answering impromptu questions at a conference at Harvard. I am sorry that I used the word ‘shame’ in reference to some women’s inability to wear a sari. I truly regret that the way in which I tried to make a point about the sari enabled it to be interpreted as misogynistic, patriarchal, and non-inclusive – this was certainly not my intention. Let me provide some context for those of you who may not have listened to the speech I gave at Harvard. A woman had asked me to comment on the cultural taboo of young women wearing saris because, as she said, society tells them that it ‘makes them look older’. ‘What is your suggestion’, she asked, ‘for those young generations, to break that taboo and embrace the sari…’ Unbeknownst to many, this is a question I field often with friends and customers. The ubiquity of such sentiments in our culture, evidenced by the fact that this question was posed to me at Harvard, of all places, was hard-hitting and triggered an unfortunate series of reactions on my part. Sometimes, when you are that invested in your craft, you become hypersensitive to the negativity surrounding that which you love. #Sabyasachi #TheWorldOfSabyasachicolor:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;">A post shared by Sabyasachi Mukherjee (@sabyasachiofficial) on
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Sabyasachi further went on to elaborate, "Now I have worked with the sari for 16 years. During this time, I have had countless open dialogues in various forums pan-India with women of all age groups and income brackets about the constant barrage of negativity surrounding it. Yet another question of ageism and the sari at Harvard triggered a lot of pent-up frustration that I have accrued for that segment of our society which constantly expresses disdain for this piece of Indian heritage. It is this frustration that I unfortunately generalised to Indian women in response to the question, when I now see that I should have framed it as a call to stop shaming the sari and whomever chooses to wear it. I am passionate about textiles and our heritage, and I am sorry that in the heat of that moment, I allowed this passion to be misplaced. I take full responsibility for this."
To reiterate his displeasure over the ageist comments that women wearing sarees often have to face, he continued to talk about how even educated men and women often systematically and continuously belittle and shame the saree and its wearers by calling them 'Auntie'. He also equated this dismissive and sarcastic attitude towards sarees to cultural repression and backwardness of thought.
"Many women, young and old, are scared to have an outing in a sari because it is shrouded in so many layers of taboo and controversy, often citing inability to correctly drape a sari as an exit point," he wrote.
And finally, in the last installment of the letter, Sabyasachi pointedly talks about how, contrary to several opinion pieces on the ongoing controversy, his was not a brand steeped in patriarchy. Calling it a humiliation to have to defend himself and his brand on this front, he wrote about how the top-earners across departments at Sabyasachi Couture were women - not because they were women, but because they had worked their way to the top.
"Mine is a women-oriented brand and I owe my complete success to them. I have always, and will continue to love and respect women irrespective of the labels recently assigned to me. It was in this spirit that I started my brand, and that is how it shall remain till the day we decide to shut its doors.
I once again apologise for the distress caused by the words I used, but not for the intent, which often takes a back seat when slammed by controversy. My intent was to call out those women who proudly proclaim that they don't wear saris and simultaneously shame others who wear saris by saying it makes them look older, backward, or culturally repressed."
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There's no doubt about the fact that no matter what the context, Sabyasachi's comments at the conference were thoughtless and did him great disservice as the owner of a brand cherished by so many women across the country, and even the world. Having said that, it is heartening to see that Sabyasachi and his team took the time to reflect upon his words, understand the problem with them and come up with an articulate, humbling apology, instead of defending them stubbornly, which is what often happens, when public personalities are called out for something or the other.
Who among us hasn't wanted to say one thing, but found ourselves fumbling for the right words, and ended up saying something completely contrary to our original intention? It helps when people, especially those in the public eye, have the decency to apologise, when they find themselves on the wrong side of a sexism debate.
While his comments may have irked saree wearers and non-wearers alike, Sabyasachi's letter is sure to resonate with those among us who are fans of the garment. As a young woman who frequently wears sarees, I've often encountered the kind of criticism and judgement Sabyasachi speaks of. Even as I routinely brush off questions and sarcasm over being 'overdressed' and choosing to wear something that makes me look 'older', I know that a whole lot of women my age won't even consider wearing sarees for these precise reasons. As a society, our collective obsession with youth is such that even the slightest perception of 'oldness' is enough to make us go screaming into the woods. It's an unfortunate state of affairs, but it's true.
CommentsIf only Sabyasachi had addressed the real issue of 'saree-shaming', instead of 'shaming women who don't wear sarees' in the first place, he would have saved us all the heartache of having to criticise the designer whose Instagram page is bookmarked on our devices for our daily dose of drool-worthy traditional fashion. But now that he's apologised, like Sabya says at the end of his open letter, "It's back to business as usual."
