As we look back on what a year 2017 has been for all of us, we can't help but wish for things to be slightly - well, okay, majorly - different next year. No, we won't preach to you about donating blood every three months (even though you might want to consider it), but baseline decency and a little bit of consideration for those around them is really not too much of an ask. We're not saying we're perfect - I'm personally still working on a few of these things, as well. So... why don't you join me in this not-so-difficult undertaking?
1. Minding their own business
2017 was the year almost every person I know found something to be offended by, at some point or another. From Priyanka Chopra's legs to what's on our plates to Hindu - Muslim marriages, just way too many people had their noses in places where they didn't belong. While there was plenty this year to contemplate and comment on, so many controversies were over issues that really didn't merit the chaos. Sorry, but whether someone chose to wear a dress that shows off their knees nobody's business but her own. Let's focus a bit more on our own lives, shall we?
2. Asking for consent
You would think that consent would be a universally understood concept by 2017, but you would be wrong. This was the year when a judge overturned a rape conviction because a 'feeble no', apparently, isn't a convincing enough 'no' for a person trying to have sex with you. It's a worrying precedent to say the least. So, our hope for 2018 is that men understand that a no is a no and the only thing it means is, "Stop, I don't want to have sex with you" not "Try convincing me by forcing your body onto mine." And that women feel empowered enough to be able to say "no". Sigh. We're really having to aim low this year.
3. Thinking before they speak
We live in times when people tweet before they can even formulate a coherent thought. And because of that attitude, more and more people think it's acceptable to say literally anything, as long as you preface it with, 'No offence...'. Here's a news flash, if you're going to say something that requires you to justify it with a "no offence" before you even utter it, it's almost guaranteed to be offensive. So no, before you take to social media to air your big and small grievances, take a beat to think about whether you really need to say it.
4. Accepting that women are equal to men
It's 2017 and people, even women, are still shying away from identifying as a feminist. Forget that, people are still getting the meaning of being a feminist wrong. Come on, it was declared Merriam-Webster's word of the year, so the least you can do is run a simple Google search and spend some time educating yourself on it before you diss it. Once you know what it really means, and if you still don't decide to identify as one, shop shaming the people who do. It's a matter of basic courtesy and respect for people.
5. Speaking up against harassment
This year saw so many celebrities like Rose McGowan, Gwyneth Paltrow and Angelina Jolie speaking up about the times they were sexually harassed. It seemed like a tidal wave, but even with the number of people who came forward, sadly, it only scratches the surface of how widespread the problem is. Even if you're not a victim or a perpetrator, as a decent human being, it is your responsibility to do something when you see it happen. Keeping quiet and allowing it to continue only makes you complicit. There is always something you can do to help. And no, tweeting is not nearly enough.
6. Blaming the culprit
It's a shame that this actually needs to be said. When you hear about sexual abuse or harassment, don't indulge in conjecture, slut-shaming or victim-blaming. No matter how you personally feel about the alleged victim or perpetrator, do not dismiss abuse as attention seeking behaviour. At the very least, don't say anything, if you can't say something to support the victim. And if you're tempted to ask questions like "what was she wearing", go to bed and stay there, until the feeling passes.
7. Giving back
If you're blessed with a well-paying job, a loving family and good health, you're already luckier than most people in the world. So maybe, find it in yourself to be a little generous with your wealth? What you give back to society doesn't have to be much, you only have to make it a habit. All of us win when everyone looks out for each other. If we all started donating a little every month, to a cause of our choice, it will make such a huge difference to people (and animals) in need.
8. Supporting sex education
With access to the internet, you can't really keep children in the dark about sex, even if you wanted to (which you shouldn't). It is so much better and safer for them and for society if children are taught about sex by qualified experts with irrefutable credentials instead of learning through trial and error and, worse, the abundance of wild, nonsense theories online.
9. Talking about periods
Can we please stop shying away from this conversation? Can we stop using code words like 'down' and 'chums' for periods? It is amazing that in 2017, sanitary napkins are still being sold wrapped in newspapers and dark plastic bags as if they might explode on the way home from the pharmacy, emitting radioactive waves and maiming humanity for generations to come. Also, while we're at it, can we exempt sanitary pads from the notorious GST, please? It might only be a symbolic gesture, but we need the powers that be to understand that sanitary napkins aren't a luxury item, they're a basic necessity.
10. Voting
No one is going to think you're cooler because you didn't vote. Even if you haven't been tracking the elections, even if you're feeling lazy, even if you've never done it before - you must vote. It's really never too late to start. You play a part in deciding what the future of your nation will be like, whether you want to or not.
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