It is hard being gay in a country like India. What with the ever judgemental eyes wherever you go, and the fact that we have no legal rights to call our own. There are people who don't accept us when they discover our sexual preferences and families who disown their children. But as we fight for our rights to be recognised, there are other things that make life harder for us. For one, the stereotypes are as frustrating as they are infuriating. No, I don't have an exciting and dramatic coming out story. Yes, I actually "love" men. No, we aren't all out to get the straights. And no, not every man hanging out with me is gay by the virtue of my company.
But there are certain other questions that come our way that are absolutely exasperating. So, this pride month, do us all a favour and stop asking us these questions.
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When did you know?
Oh, you know one fine day I was walking on the street, listening to Cher and poof! I knew I loved men. Umm, no. Not. This isn't maths; such a realisation is very subjective and comes to different people differently at a different time in their lives. We are the way we are, it's just that we come to it at our own pace.
Are you the guy or the girl in the relationship?
Whoever has asked this question, please play it out in your head. Do you realise how absolutely stupid you sound? Thank you. There's a reason why it's called a same-sex relationship because we are both the same sex. Spare us the hetero-normative labels, please? Also, sexuality is fluid and multifaceted. Stop stereotyping.
Are you sure you are gay?
No, I'm not sure. I just like pretending that I'm gay so I can be subjected to needless ridiculing, bullying, and judgement. It's so fun. Sigh. Yes. We are sure. May have taken a while to get here but yes, we are always sure.
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How are you so close to women?
Gay men particularly get this question a lot. It's hateful. Women aren't close to us because we are gay, they are close to us because of the people, the human beings we are. Oh, and stop asking us to fix you up with our girlfriends. We won't.
What do you do in bed?
We mind our own business. What do you do in bed?