In a world that constantly demands the best from us, we are often too busy trying to be competent workers, consumers, hustlers and more. So it isn't surprising that we tend to slip a bit in our personal and romantic lives. While we juggle, the people who we take the most for granted are our loved ones. We may push celebrating special occasions or spending quality time together to the bottom of our priority list. Or worse, being too focused on work could disconnect us from our partners, leading to miscommunication, resentment, and disharmony. With every relationship comes responsibility, so we offer some measures that can help you to reconnect with your partner despite your busy schedules.
How Can Being "Too Busy" Sabotage Your Relationship?
Many of us struggle with time management, especially when it comes to striking a perfect balance between our work and our love life. Author Allan De Botton explains it well, "what kills us isn't one big thing, but thousands of tiny obligations we can't turn down for fear of disappointing others." Being "too busy" definitely takes a toll on our time and energy and when we are emotionally and physically drained, this eventually can affect can our relationships. In order to make quality time for our partners, switching off from the outside world is essential, whether it is from our professional life or even our close friend circle.
Things Not To Say To Your Partner When You're Always Busy
Our drive to perform at work can often leave us in work mode even when we get home. That could mean we may be physically present but emotionally distant. When called out, we may react quickly, with dismissive words and phrases, which can trigger toxic arguments and cause frequent fights. For instance, "I am doing it for the family", "work is more important", "why can't you understand" and "don't you want me to succeed" are likely to make our loved ones feel less of a priority.
How Can You Fix It?
Take a break from what you are doing and spend time with them, even for short periods to:
1. Listen: Empathetic listening is what it takes for your partner to believe that they are given your time and attention. They must 'feel heard'. For that listening without interruption and choosing to respond, rather than react, are the key.
2. Communicate: Your priorities might be very different from what your partner is thinking. Make sure you communicate with them effectively so you can both be on the same page.
3. Validate: Don't get angry at your partner's attempt to seek your attention. Instead, take time to understand and acknowledge their reasons, which are likely to stem from their frustration and fears about the relationship.
4. Identify their Love Language: While you learn to manage your time better to free up space for quality time with your partner, what can help in the interim is identifying what makes them feel appreciated and loved. Love languages differ from person to person. For some, physical gestures such as a quick peck on the cheek or handholding could make a world of difference. Others may prefer gifts or acts of service. Knowing what works for them and taking the time out to offer those to them will reassure them that you care and that you are still committed to the relationship.
If the issues persist, do not hesitate to reach out to professionals who can help you navigate the blocks and tricky mind locks that may be preventing you and your partner from reconnecting. With quality time spent and appropriate, timely action, you are sure to bring your relationship back to a happy place.