Ahh, the one week of cramps, mood swings and rushing hastily to the bathroom. Most of the female population grow used to this monthly routine from the time they turn teenagers and yet, no one refers to it as such. No one actually goes around outrightly calling it ‘menses’ or ‘menstruation’, unless they work in medicine. Today, period names are clever, subtle and funnier than ever. The next time you’ve got your period, try out some of these nine nicknames instead.
The Indian favourite which everyone’s aunties and grandmothers use to refer to their periods. In fact, ‘chum’ is so well-known as one’s period (probably even by the males in the family by now) that you might as well realise all subtlety is lost.
2. Aunt Flo
The tight-lipped English favourite that pretends your much-loved aunt is coming to visit when it’s actually just your usual monthly flow. Used best when playing hookey.
3. Red Wedding
Game of Thrones fans, you get it. No wedding of any kind going on here but damn, it is red and how.
4. Shark Week
Because the blood and gore of being devoured by a shark can compare to having your period for a whole week, especially on those heavy flow days.
5. Time Of The Month
The most subtle nickname of them all. Most girls get it easily and it’s a safe word that you can mutter in office, without gruesome visuals coming to mind.
Remember the prom scene in Carrie where her school mates play a prank on her and her white dress is covered in pig’s blood so she’s standing in front of the school angry, wet and humiliated? That.
7. Code Red
This right here captures the urgency during your period. You know, the feeling when you know it has arrived and you check your handbag to realise you haven’t carried an extra pad so you make a beeline to the bathroom.
8. Girl Flu
If you think about it hard enough, period week really is like falling ill. The nauseous feelings and strange cravings are all there, excerpt that’s a phenomenon reserved strictly for females.
9. Leak Week
Summing it up perfectly, leak week says what needs to be said. I’m a leaky mess for the next seven days but you can always visit next week.